Read Me N Shit

Whutup, it's yo boy Reezy

Aiight, so, yall wanted a nigga to post a blog so here it is. If it makes u mad or u catch feelings from dis shit, GET A FUCKIN LIFE! Nigga dis shit is all true and here 4laughs. If u a bitch dat can't handle whut ya boi postin, do me a favor den. Go up 2yo address bar and type in, cause dat's where u belong. Nigga U Mad?

Friday, December 31, 2010

#fuckouttahere2010 Random Blog

Happy New Year's Bitches! Here's another short entry before the ball drops.

Well, it's that time of year again. New Year's Eve. Time for niggas to wild out, white people to jam pack Times Square and Mexicans to stay inside cause all the police check points got u shook. Wait...I guess that last one applies to us niggas too...*shrug*. So i'm over on Twitter watching yall make resolutions and swear to God, Jehovah, Allah, Satan, Scientology, sandwiches on wheat bread or whatever it is yall worship dat 2011 gone be yo year.

Uh...nigga you said dat shit last year and...well, we see da results, don't we?

If u rushin 2010 out cause u said it's a bad year, da fuck does that say bout you? 2011 starts at midnite n u still gone b a bitchass nigga, only on a different date. You still gone have bills dats past due and you still gone be broke as hell when da ball drop. The only difference is that it'll be the next day you dumb nigga.

If you really wanna make a resolution, a real honest one, resolve to be 10% less bitch. It's not that hard, especially for you niggas that's already 99.9% bitch. #imjustsayin

While I was watching my timeline and googling random shit, a thought crossed my mind. More and more people believe dat da end of da world is coming on December 21, 2012. If dat's da case, what time zone will da diasaster happen in? I'm bettin my money dat Asia gone catch dat shit 12 hours ahead of me. Shit, if y'all niggas smart, y'all would befriend a Chinese person and ask em 2text you when da end of the world starts. At least you got 12 hours to think of a plan, build a raft, rob a store, kill yourself, I dunno what you wanna do.

Aye...anybody else got a sudden craving for sum ham fried rice and a eggroll?

Real Nigga Last Remarks:

I gotta idea, in 2011, let's not make up fake tweets and kill off random celebs. How many more must die, for your timeline to look fly? Lol, #random chappelle quote, my bad I'm trippin off that bottle.
Nigga U Mad -___-

Twitter: Welcome to the Alternate Universe

Welcome to Twitter

I'm sorry, in all my blogs, I forgot 2welcome all da newbies to da world of Twitter. Welcome ta one of da biggest,sterotypical, laziest, funniest, social networks in da world. Now dis ain't how I usually write a blog, but all came to me in a mix, so here it is. This is what happens on Twitter

In da Twitter universe, (yes, if u aint know, Twitter qualifies as another universe since niggas think when dey log on, dey someplace else BUT Earth. I ain't know NASA accepted just ANYBODY)
1/4the the female population is made of vinyl plastic dats made in china. (dats a Barbie 4all u slow niggas)
FYI: In the twitter universe, niggas turn into the old Batman and hit u wit POWS, BOOMS, BAMS and other random gay ass typed out sound effects like they really hurt you.
Twitter breaks down more than a Jalapi in a snow storm. 0 followers, 0 following (whew, and niggas FREAK OUT when they see they lost all they *hard earned* followers)
Niggas postin dicks <--no one wants to fuckin see dat gay shit!
Females posting XXX pics for a follow when it ain't even them.
Talk shit behind a screen <--that's prolly the most popular thing to do on Twitter cause when shit gets real, you can just log out and say you roasted dat nigga. Naw nigga, stay online and finish yo weak ass jokes.
Broadcast they FULL Location. Da next nigga dat's in my area tweetin wit a location on is gone get a surprise visit n ass whoopin and/or robbing frum me. I mean, dat's whut you askin for...right? Why else would you tell me n millions of others where you are? Why why else would you be tellin us that you cashin yo check dat you just so happened to work overtime on? Nigga it's da holiday season n niggas need cash so uh...
Do not DM or Follow Kat Stacks...unless you want to end up exposed in her next WSHH video. Uh...CELEBRITIES, dat means YOU TOO!
jbarbie20 <--everybody should know this twitter name by now. I'm just waitin on the made for TV movie to premiere bout how we all made her ugly ass famous.
Twitpic they money that's actually bill or rent money. A couple of 20's is on the top and the rest is all dollar bills hiding underneath, making it look like u got dat gwop.
Get fired tweetn bout ditchin work or bitchin bout an interview dey just had. Nigga WE CAN STILL SEE YOU! The real world is still around and full of haters! Dat shit could mos def get back 2da person dat interviewed you, #dumbfuck!
Emotional broads and niggas...where da fuck dese niggas be coming from? They won't hesitate to jump into a convo dat don't concern em, get dey feelings hurt and cry to they friends to try to get back at you. They habitual emotional conversation jumpers. Well bitch, had you not put yo big ass nose in my convo, you woulda never got told da truth bout yo mama down at da welfare office in one of the closets wit...wait...don't do it Riley. Come back to the blog nigga......


Fall in love <--niggas be actin like dis is Fuck NO! Don't do it! You'll be sorry when you meet her and either a) end up missin or b)have your dick fall off later. Now which one is the lesser of two evils?

Real Nigga Last Remarks:

You gone WISH you listened. #thatisall Nigga U Mad -___-

This entry was originally started on 11/16/10 and was the idea of The_Boondocks

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Twitter: RT Me!

RT this if u still up!
RT this if u readin this!
RT this if u like cheese!
RT this if u gonna RT this!

What. Da. Fuck?

On some real shit, da Retweet button should be worn da fuck out by now wit da way niggas is usin it. Once u hit da RT button, a option should pop up n say, 'nigga u sure? cause dis shit look like sum ol bull.'  I hate dese tweets da most:

Go 2my page n RT that last tweet!! RT RT RT!

Nigga no. If I wanna RT somthin, I'ma do it. Otherwise, quit fuckin askin. Makes u look thirsty as shit 4 a fuckin top tweet. Da fuck u even win when u get a top tweet? Money? A car? A movie deal? Oh shit, dat's right, NOTHING besides yo tweet on da front page of twitter which still comes out 2NOTHING.

Yeah n I hear yall talkin bout, "bein on da front page gives u promotion." Yeah it do, but promotion 2who? When u loggin in via da web, how long u actually stay on da front page? Whut, 5-10seconds tops? And even den, u payin attention 2loggin in, NOT da top tweets. (shoutout 2da ignorant niggas dats bout 2go n try 2prove me wrong #fuckouttahere)

And den u gotta think bout da people dat use apps 2access Twitter. Dem niggas NEVER see da front page cause most likely, dey already logged in n shit.  So whut's da point of bein dere?

I remember 1 of da 1st times da nigga playin Grandad made Top Tweets. Whew! Dat nigga wus on it wit da QUICKNESS!! N ever since, he been RT'n his fuckin heart out 2try n make it at every turn. #niggayougay

Now true, sum niggas just RT just cause dey feel like it, but MOST NIGGAS want a RT 2show other niggas dat dese niggas think dey da shit.

Let's say u been tweet'n bout, oh i dunno, hoes, tittys n thongs since u signed up n still no Top Tweets. All a sudden, u gettin questioned like, "damn, don't u ever tweet bout other shit?"

Guess whut? Yup, u got it! Time 2make Top Tweets so u can try n get new followers 2block dem other 1s out!  So now u post a tweet dat's way outta character 4u, but u know it's gone work cause niggas on twitter love dat intelligent-soundin, deep, sappy shit. (Especially bitches #imjustsayin)

Timeline Example: (remember u been tweet'n bout tittys n shit all week)
 U: I got da most followers wit da biggest tittys on Earth! RT if u agree! <---not a Top Tweet
 U: Women are beautiful. We really need to stop degrading them and recognize them for the blessing they truly are. <--Looks like we got a Top Tweet on our hands!
 U: Whew girl! Bend over n show me dat ass! <---Really nigga?

No disrespect but, females are da easiest 1s 2deceive in2 RT'n lies u tell. Females LOVE tweets concernin how dey should be treated or pumping up dey egos. Don't believe me? Go check sum Top Tweets or somebody's RTs. U gone see whut I mean. Or...maybe u won't. *shrug*

Matter of fact...most of yall won't n prolly done took offense 2dis halfway through. Oh well.

Real Nigga Last Remarks:


If u feel da need 2join #TeamFollowBack 2gain followers, whut is dat really sayin bout u? 1) U 2lazy to put sum real effort in 2find yo own followers. 2) U must be borin as fuck cause u gotta bribe niggas 2follow u. 
3) Twitter is just another #'s game to make u feel like a star.
Wow, great job u fuckin #lame, u had 2follow 30,000ppl 2get 30,000 followers
(haha, n dey say I'M da fake 1)

Nigga U Mad? -___-

Friday, July 2, 2010

Twitter: Follow Me Cause I Hate U

So here it came n went. Da infamous BET Awards, or as erybody is callin it now, da EBT Awards.

I know all of Chris Brown's #twitterbodyguards is gone get me 4dis, but i dont fuckin care.

How ironic is it dat chris brown was losin da vote 4da 'Fandemonium' Award 4BET, cried durin his MJ tribute den ended up winnin it?

NOPE! Scratch dat!

A nigga wus gone talk bout da awards n other shit, but I got mo important shit 2address. I spent da day just silently watchin ma timeline n done seen sum ill shit...

Twitter should change dey tagline from: 'What Are You Doing?' to 'Follow Me Cause I Hate U'

#Realtalk  Twitter is da new fake reality tv joint, #iswear. Erybody trynna be a twitter celeb n get dey #'s up just cause. A few days ago, a nigga asked a question on twitter n got alotta da same anwers.

Q: if u saw 1of yo followers from Twitter in real life, would u say somthin 2em, or keep it movin?
A: Keep It Movin.
Wait, so dat means yo ass wants thousands of followers, but u can givva fuck less bout who dey are, long as dey make yo numbers go up? But dey way a nigga see it; dis must be da rule yall be followin:

Big #'s = u a real life celeb n allowed 2say ANYTHING.

Man fuck all dat. Check dis out: I say whut da hell I want, yeah, but I been sayin rude shit since I had 1 follower. 20k didn't change me or ma tweets. Don't believe me? Take da time out n go all da way back 2 da beginning of ya boi's timeline. N dats EXACTLY how I talk in real life aka off twitter. Sum of yall say da most OUTLANDISH bullshit a nigga ever heard on twitter, but would NEVER say half dat shit in real life. No serious, I actually know sum of ma followers in real life n #iswear dey twitter personality is a 180 from dey real life 1.


I ont know whut da fuck done got into sum of yall niggas recently, but I can tell u dis: U actin like a BITCH. BRAND FUCKIN NEW. Yall EXTRA niggas is outta fuckin control actin like yall run da world just cause yall gotta lot of followers n shit. Cause when u log off twitter, who da fuck are u den? Still da same ol nigga u wus, workin da same stupid ass job at da wing hut. When I log out, I aint @Riley_Boondocks no mo. When u log out, u aint @iRaped(insert dumbass name here) or @marblezbitches or @ka_ka_krazybitch. I mean, I know u ont put dat shit on yo resume nigga. Or at least, a nigga hope not.

Yeah I went off on a rant real quick da other day, but 4good reason. It's alotta niggas out here yall followin dat hate da fuck outta yall. Dat think yall stupid as fuck. Dat think yall wont notice shit dey do 2yall. N on sum real shit, I gotta congratulate dem slick muthafuckas 4havin so many of yall fooled n shit. If yall only knew da truth, it'd be a fuckin twitter riot, but den again, if u look close enuff n pay sum gotdamn attention, u'd see it 2.

Ma question is, why not just tell em u hate em? Tell em u think dey stupid as fuck 4followin u? Tell em u got betta things 2do den answer dey stupid ass questions? Why talk shit behind dey backs? Ohhh, dat's rite, cause den you'd lose yo numbers. And if u lost yo followers, den dat mean u lost U. Lol, aint dat sum shit? Yo high ass numbers mite make U, but I aint trynna let dat shit make ME. I FUCKIN MAKE ME.

N whoeva came up wit #teamfollowback need to be shot. No seriously, who da fuck came up wit dat? A nigga really wanna know. Dat means, u follow me, I follow u, but den we never speak again. Really? All dis shameless promo just 4followers u aint never gone talk 2 is sum ol bullshit. Da only time I ont talk 2ma followers is when i'm a)offline or b)hit wit 100 @'s a minute like on sundays durin da show.

But since u niggas is so worried bout whut I do, let's talk bout dat real quick.

1: Quit fuckin policin ma timeline! I always speak ma mind on any subject n never bother u less u bothered me 1st. If u aint followin me, den why da fuck u care so much bout whut I'm doin? If u are followin me n I'm upsettin u dat much, here go sum picture instructions 4yo dumbass:

2: "Riley you're only here for the numbers too." WRONG! I could give a fuck less bout how many followin me cause dat shit can and does change eryday. A nigga lose n gain followers eryday, but idgaf cause i'm here 4yall. When wus da last time yall niggas saw me do a shameless promo 4myself like #teamfollowback or #roadto(insert high ass number here)? U haven't! Da only promos I do is 4yall. #follow4follow (#F4F), #FF or #shoutouts. Shit if I got 20k followers dat u need 2reach, why shouldn't I help a nigga out?


4: Do not DM or @ me ANYTHING dat could put me in da middle of yo bullshit. Don't tell ME dat u aint fuckin wit HIM/HER no mo. Tell DEM. Da fuck would I care? It makes u come off like a BAN when u tellin erybody but da nigga u gotta problem wit dat yall even got a problem.

5: U can talk all da shit in da world 2 a nigga n I still won't block u. Whut's da point when I can just ignore u? All u doin is showin da world how much u thinkin bout me (which is hella gay btw).

But shit, looks like a nigga done upset summa yall. Oh well. I'm onto sum #F4F shit

Real Nigga Last Remarks:

A nigga gone ALWAYS go back n forth wit u, but dat don't mean I hate u or sum other bitch shit. Now it mite mean I think u stupid as fuck 4@'n me whateva u did, but nuthin else. AND, if u hate me 4sum reason or another, lemme know. Or not. Let dat shit build up in yo chest 4all I care. Clog up yo arteries n veins of "I hate Riley" chants. LMAO, u ol high blood pressure ass havin niggas.

Nigga U Mad? -___-

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

1st #TeamBoondocks Tiny Chat: Cam Bitch #FAIL

Aiight so on Sundays round 9pm EST, #TeamBoondocks holds a Tiny Chat 2 get at da followers b4 da show. We clown round, answer questions, go in on niggas, whutever.
Da members dat showed up wus:

Flonominal (@FlonominalBD)
Thugnificent (@Thugnificent_BD)
A Pimp Named Slickback (@Pimpslickback_)
Cindy (@CindyMac_BD)
Grandad (@Grandad_BD) *4 a hot second 2see titties

All #Dickridere got booted as soon as dey logged in.

Dis past sunday (6/20/10) wus da 1st 1 n dat shit wus STOOPID. We had @Pimpslickback_ on da mic doggin hoes, bitches singing off key, babies cryin in da background, a fat hoe on cam, a yuckmouth afropuff lookin hoe, a african bambatta 'give us free' lookin hoe, 2crazy white hoes, n a Flocka lookin nigga.

Next time, be dere. Look at dese pics:

idgaf whut yall say, dis baby wus ugly. #Period

dis bitch ^^ aint even have no sound on her cam. She stayed
on da phone, talkin shit 2nobody since AT&T cut her ass off
2days ago. PS: hur neck is long as FUCK! #greatneck

Dis hoe said she wus whitenin hur teeth n shit
She had 2have at least 172 n possible teeth
in hur mouf.

kiddie porn. Whut more can be said? Where da
fuck is child services when u need em?

I WISH I woulda got da shot of dem when dey 1st
logged on cam. Dese bitches wus eatin da shit outta sum
ramen noodles out da cup. Da fat 1 sluped dat shit
down like...well yall know like whut. 2add 2dat shit
dese hoes kept gettin booted off da cam cause
dey connection wus on dial up. Dese #brokehoes
wus still usin dat 30day free trial of AOL. Bitch
YOU GOT MAIL! #fuckouttahere. Den dey came back
cause dey picked up free wifi from a nigga cross da
street. Bitch please, go eat a Twinkie hoe.

Real Nigga Last Remarks

Come in on our TinyChat on cam n u WILL be captured n posted wit yo ignorant asses. Fuck yall think dis is?  Next Sunday, 9pm EST we doin it again. I DARE yall niggas 2cam up.

Cause dese niggas gone be mad -___-

Twitter: Pt3 Censored Yo Bitch Ass!

Niggas got to be da most controllin people in da world. We stay tellin other niggas whut dey can n can't say/do. Twitter done made it worse. As soon as a nigga get a few hunnid followers n mentions, he go fuckin Hollywood.

I done seen plenty of dis shit on Twitter lately, n I only smh. How u gone tell another nigga whut dey can/cant tweet or RT? N u be surprised at da amount of niggas dat actually LISTEN! Uh...#realniggasdontfollowinstructions

Saw dis on Twitter today when a nigga wus lookin through sum of yall tweets:

Them: Yo stop tweetin bout dat shit
U: My bad =/

Them: Nigga u dumb 4postin dat. Nobody wanna hear dat shit.
U: okay, i didnt know...

Them: Dont tweet 1statement n leave it at dat! Either elaborate or dont tweet at all!
U: O...

WTF?! Serious?! Who da fuck are u to tell a nigga whut 2 do in dere timeline? If 1 or 3 tweets affect u dat much, den nigga stop fuckin payin attention! Stop readin ma tweets n RTs! It aint ma fault I'm da most active nigga on yo timeline.



Ima admit dat unfollowin a nigga cause a tweet dat wusnt even bout u made u cry like a bitch is #gay. Da fuck u gettin a attitude 4? U lookin like a soft ass bitch nigga 4dat. #iswear

Nigga I aint never in da past or present changed da way I tweet. I say whut da fuck I want n aint NOBODY gone stop me. If a nigga let dat shit affect me, den I wouldnt be muthafuckin Riley Freeman.

Somebody hit me wit a link 2 The Killer Truth's Site in ma mentions last nite. Now while I dont fuck wit dat nigga or his site, a nigga aint got shit ginst em. Do yo thang nigga. *shrugs*

But da post bout 'Boondocks Etiquette' made a nigga laugh so fuckin hard ma sides still fuckin hurtin. Cmon nigga let's be real. No, most niggas DONT get da point of da Boondocks n da messages we push out, but ALOT of niggas do. N if dey so chose 2tweet:

" Yall just dont understand da true meaning of the Boondocks, smh..."

Den it's FINE! Niggas stop bein da Twitter Etiquette police!

If I tweet bout a sandwich I had once den switch over n tweet bout sum other shit, who da fuck cares?! It aint stupid or bein pompous dat a nigga holdin in info bout somthin, it's just dat maybe dey dont wanna take da time out 2tell da details. Aint nobody REQUIRED 2enlighten other niggas when dey can damn well get off dey lazy asses n do it on dey own. Dis da line from TKT post dat got me:

"Thus, if you can shed some light on an aspect of the show, yet fail to do it, you’re not only being a condescending and selfish asshole, you’re not getting the show."

Cmon nigga, really? Da show is deep, yeah. Da show gotta bigger meanin den most niggas realize, yeah. But 2 tell a nigga dey 'condescending and selfish' just cause dey aint sharing publicly accessible knowledge bout da show is sum ol bullshit.

Real Nigga Last Remarks:

 If da above examples sound like u, den u need 2cut dem strings off yo puppet ass n grow sum fuckin balls nigga. Stop lettin random niggas cuff u. Cause #thatshitsgay

Nigga U Mad? -___-

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Da biggest #NiggaYouGay stamp goes 2 dat lanky bitch Justin Bieber. Here u go nigga, use it wit pride. You earned dis shit:

So ya boi just had 2force myself 2 sit through da whole Justin Bieber "Baby" video and 20secs into it, a nigga wanted 2bang ma head against da keyboard. And if u trust anythin a nigga say wit hair wrapped round his head like he stylin in dis bitch, u need 2 question yo sexuality. Is dis nigga really trynna sing bout love? Serious nigga? No. Nigga u 16.

Gettin good love advice from dis nigga is like:

a)a mexican havin his legal papers
b)a nigga havin bills in his own name
c)a white nigga runnin when he see niggas runnin
d)a asian not ownin a hair store or nail shop

None of dat shit will ever happen!

On sum real, dis nigga is from Canada. CANADA! A nigga see all types of shit wrong wit dat right dere.(U free healthcare havin....)

Den a nigga saw dis interview--> True or false: 'Bieber' is German for basketball?" "Huh?" "German." "Huh? German?" "Yes, German." "I dunno what you're saying."

Da nigga even showed da dumbfuck da paper wit da word on it and his ass still couldn't get it. Bitch, da word is German, u saw it on da got damn paper! Da fuck is wrong wit u?! Read nigga! Read!

His answer: "We dont say dat in America."

REALLY NIGGA?! I know I aint da smartest nigga in da world, but I know da damn word 'German' IS a part of our language! U mop headed bitch!

Oh and dis muthafucka got nominated 4 a 2010 BET Award as Best New Artist! WTF? Last time a nigga checked, da nigga wus white as milk. Niggas been workin hard 2 get a damn BET award (even doe u can prolly get 1 on Ebay or Craigslist 4da low) and here come dis chalky bitch stealin dey shine. Oh wait, I hear yall niggas sayin, "But Riley, Eminem n Justin Timberlake were nominated b4 too. What about them?"

Dem niggas get a pass. Why? Cause dey make real music bitch! Dat transparent nigga JB be singin bout sum ol bullshit!

And da point aint wether he win or not, it's dat he dont fuckin belong dere! Da shit's stupid, just like his lyrics!

Whoever dresses dat nigga needs a fuckin life coach and need 2be on suicide watch. Dis niggas shoes wus bigger den his fuckin head.

U bobble headed, skinny jean wearin, bigfoot muthafucka, A nigga waitin 4da day 4 yo career 2end.

Check out dis statement:

"Arriving at Auckland airport in New Zealand later that day, RadioLIVE New Zealand reported on airport security's efforts to keep Bieber out of trouble. He later tweeted that somebody stole his hat and "knocked down his mama." The teenage girl who stole the hat then uploaded a video to the Internet, outlining the demands of her extortion attempt."

Hold up, u let yo mama get knocked down AND u got ganked 4yo hat by a girl? Oh u's a BITCH. Here's a smiley face---> :) A nigga heard bitches love does.

And i ont know how yall feel bout dis, but if somebody knocked ma mama down, we workin. His ass just stood dere n let it happen.

And 2da Bieber fans: grow da fuck up! Especially if u a 21y/o broad defendin dat nigga on ma timeline

Talkin bout, 'his music is da best' or 'i totally love him'. Well bitch, totally get da fuck off youtube b4 u get fired at work watchin em.

Fuck u gone explain 2yo husband u got fired cause u wus tweetn a kid on da company computer? Oh shit, dere go dat damn health insurance hoe.  Awl bitch, u can't even grocery shop no mo!

Husband: Baby what happened?
U: Um...I got fired.
Husband: Why?
U: Um...I wus on twitter and...
Husband: Bitch I know u wusn't trynna get dat lil white boy's attention again! Bitch u 32 years old wit two kids! What we gone do now? U know I ain't got no job hoe!

Real Nigga Last Remarks:

#ThatNiggaGay. But den I know? I'm just a lil black cartoon boy...wit 17k followers, uh blog n a candy hustle...#evl

Nigga U Mad? -___-